A humorous look at our oil problems and the possible soloution to all our gas and oil problems.
by Tom Attea
Recent exploration of sediment deep beneath the Artic Ocean has led geologists to estimate that approximately 1/4 of the world’s untapped oil and gas reserves are located there. After evaluating the impact of the news, the U. S. may seek membership in OPEC.
President Bush, smiling and joking with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia at a press briefing in Nome, Alaska, stated, “Since it looks like we’ve got about as much oil off Alaska as our good friend the King here has in the Saudi desert, it seems like a pretty good idea for America to consider membership in OPEC. The least you can say is, maybe then we’ll have more influence on prices at the pump.”
King Abdullah, who flew in to tour the newly oil-rich region with President Bush and Vice President Cheney, commented, “Until now, I thought a country had to have a lot of sand to have oil. Now, I see it can also have a lot of snow. If America wants to join OPEC, we will be very happy to consider the application. But, of course, we only have one vote.”
Reaction across the Middle East was not unmixed, even in Saudi Arabia. A member of the nation’s delegation to OPEC, speaking on condition of anonymity so he could remain in the employ of the King, cited Allah’s usual ways to man in terms of the oil trade, saying, “The eternal wisdom of Allah has provided that no part of the world is able to have more oil than Saudi Arabia. But our King likes to visit George Bush at his ranch in Crawford or wherever he is, so if we see enough gushers blacken the Artic Ocean, I suppose we will bring ourselves to consider U. S. membership.”
The Iranian representative was, expectedly, evasive while definite. “If the U. S. wants to join OPEC, we may say no or yes, never or maybe, later or now. There is, of course, more likelihood that we will say yes or maybe sooner if the U. S. agrees that our proud and progressive Islamic nation has the right to develop nuclear weapons for peaceful purposes.”
When asked about possible opposition to U. S. membership in OPEC, President Bush made no maybes about his intentions, turning to the King first, and saying, “Excuse me for saying this, but you how I’m always forthright.” Then he turned to the reporter, and stated, “We have a backup plan. If the other nations who control OPEC vote against American membership, we intend to form an oil cartel with Canada, which, like our own state of Alaska, borders on the Artic Ocean. Greenland, which also has a presence there, has indicated interest in the cartel, which, by the way, we’ve given the working name of APEC, with the “A” standing for “Artic.” I also plan to invite Russia, which, as you know, borders on the other side of the Artic Ocean, to consider the benefits of membership in APEC.”
Vice President Cheney, flashing his usual fleeting acidic smile at the King, took his turn at the skillful conduct of international relations, adding, “It’s quite a relief to know we’ve got as much oil up north as we do, and frankly, I kind of like the idea of APEC. So just let me say that, with all due deference to the King, the choice for OPEC is clear. It’s their cartel or ours.”
Environmentalists were widely distressed. A leading researcher of the multinational team that extracted the deep cores which indicated the vast reserves said, “It’s disheartening to think that our discovery of how much oil and gas lie under the Artic has led to a desire to extract it. I would have thought everyone would just appreciate the wisdom of leaving it there. Now, I shudder to think how much the combustion of the reserves will contribute to global warming, which, unfortunately, will make it even easier to pump out the oil, since there won’t be any ice left to get in the way.”
Eskimos generally applauded the news, with many expressing an eagerness to trade in their traditional garb for Arabian dress. One Eskimo confided, “If you want to know the truth, I like global warming. We’ve had it cold long enough.”
Everyday Americans at the pump were ecstatic about the prospects of a domestic oil glut. “Wow, just think,” an American SUV driver, who was at a gas station pumping out his wallet, said, “if the U. S. is part of OPEC or forms its own cartel, I might even be able to keep my gas guzzler.”
About the Author:
Tom Attea, humorist and creator of http://newslaugh.com/, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good, genuine laughs."
Posted by Walt as Environmental Issues, Humor, Oil Production at 8:46 AM EDT
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Researchers at The Heritage Foundation have upgraded a vital offering—“Federal Revenue and Spending: A Book of Charts”—making it easier than ever to track the deteriorating condition of the federal budget.
The chart book, which debuted in 2003, features updated data and new charts that address projected federal spending. Researchers at Heritage, a Washington-based think tank, also have reconfigured several charts and graphs for even greater clarity. To view the new version online, go to www.heritage.org and enter “budget chart book” in the search function.
The chart book’s easy-to-grasp comparisons of current, historical and future spending and revenues make it a data-rich resource for those interested in the understanding the budget process, from members of Congress and their staffs to reporters and public-policy students.
The charts have been prepared by researchers in Heritage’s Center for Data Analysis, which houses one of the largest privately held collections of public policy-related databases in the nation, and Heritage’s Roe Institute for Economic Policy Studies. The entire book may be downloaded in pdf or PowerPoint format, and each chart can be downloaded individually.
The section on federal revenue explains where the federal government has gotten its money since 1960, how those major sources of revenue have changed over the years and the growth in spending as measured per-taxpayer and per-household.
More ominously, the section on projected spending shows how spending has grown over the last 40 years and the bleak budgetary future that awaits if Congress fails to reform entitlements and rein in federal spending. Other charts illustrate how mandatory spending, if left unchecked, will squeeze out nearly all discretionary spending in the next 50 years.
“Those who need to know where the federal governments gets its money and how fast it spends it will find this site useful and the additions a nice improvement,” says Alison Acosta Fraser, director of the Roe Institute for Economic Policy Studies at Heritage. “It presents key data in a clear, easy-to-understand format that lets people see the urgent need for budget and spending reform.”
Posted by Walt as Economics at 10:20 PM EDT
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The politically incorrect solution to the nuclear standoff in Iran is to employ a cartoon of the bombing of Iran's nuclear plants.
by Tom Attea
European negotiators, intent on reaching a peaceful agreement with Iran about its controversial nuclear program, resorted to a tactic that has recently proven to be the most reliable way to elicit a response in much of the Muslim world.
Remembering the extraordinary reaction to Danish cartoons depicting the Prophet Mohammad and, again last week, demonstrations by an Iranian Turkish minority over a new cartoon that, they think, portrays them in an unfavorable light, the Europeans opted to incorporate a cartoon in their latest proposal that depicts bombs dropping on Iranian nuclear facilities.
During the next meeting with the usually smiling but dismissive Iranian nuclear negotiator, the French representative held up the explosive cartoon.
The Iranian negotiator sat back, and asked, “This cartoon is upsetting. Is it intended to be a hint?“
“I’m afraid so,” the British negotiator volunteered.
“Do you mind if I excuse myself?” he requested. “I must report this to our President!”
Then he ran with his Koran to call Iran.
“What? Another western cartoon that is insulting to Muslims?” President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad exploded. “Wait till the mighty mullahs I report to hear about this! Email me a copy right away!”
When the dutiful Ahmadinejad received it, he quickly printed it out and ran from mullah to mullah, as he often does, displaying the cartoon in his smiling, deferential way.
“What? A cartoon showing our sacred nuclear plants being blown up?” the mullah who ranks highest in the official order of the Muslim menagerie gasped.
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Posted by Walt as Humor, Iran at 8:28 PM EDT
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WASHINGTON, June 10 /Christian Newswire/ — Following is the transcript of President Bush's radio address to the nation today:
THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. This was a good week for the cause of freedom. On Wednesday night in Iraq, U.S. military forces killed the terrorist Zarqawi.
The killing of Zarqawi is an important victory in the global war on terror. This Jordanian-born terrorist was the operational commander of al Qaida in Iraq. He led a campaign of car bombings, and kidnappings, and suicide attacks that has taken the lives of many American forces, international aid workers, and thousands of innocent Iraqis. Zarqawi had a long history of murder and bloodshed. Before September the 11th, 2001, he ran a camp in Afghanistan that trained terrorists — until Coalition forces destroyed that camp. He fled to Iraq, where he received medical care and set up operations with terrorist associates.
After the fall of Saddam, Zarqawi went underground and declared his allegiance to Osama bin Laden, who called him the "Prince of al Qaida in Iraq" and instructed terrorists around the world to "listen to him and obey him." Zarqawi personally beheaded American hostages and other civilians in Iraq; he masterminded the destruction of the United Nations headquarters in Baghdad; and he was responsible for the assassination of an American diplomat in Jordan and the bombing of hotels in Amman. His goals in Iraq were clear: He wanted to stop the rise of democracy, drive coalition forces out, incite a civil war, and turn that country into a safe haven from which al Qaida could launch new attacks on America and other free nations. Instead, Zarqawi died in the free and democratic Iraq that he fought so hard to prevent, and the world is better off because this violent man will never kill again.
Iraqis can be justly proud of their new government and its early steps to improve their security. And Americans can be enormously proud of the men and women of our Armed Forces, and the intelligence officers who support them. In the past three years, our troops have overthrown a cruel dictator, fought the terrorists and insurgents house to house, and trained Iraqi forces to defend their new democracy. All the while, they stayed on the trail of this brutal terrorist, persevering through years of near misses and false leads and never giving up hope. This week they got their man. And all Americans are grateful for their remarkable achievement.
Zarqawi is dead, but the difficult and necessary mission in Iraq continues. In the weeks ahead, violence in Iraq may escalate. The terrorists and insurgents will seek to prove that they can carry on without Zarqawi. And Coalition and Iraqi forces are seizing this moment to strike the enemies of freedom in Iraq at this time of uncertainty for their cause. The work ahead will require more sacrifice and the continued patience of the American people.
I'm encouraged by Prime Minister Maliki's determination to defeat our common enemies and bring security and rule of law to all Iraqis. This week he took another major step toward this objective when he completed the formation of his cabinet — naming a new Minister of Defense, a new Minister of the Interior, and a new Minister of State for National Security. These new leaders will help the government address its top priorities: reconciliation, reconstruction, and putting an end to the kidnappings, beheadings, and suicide bombings.
As they pursue these goals, they will have America's full support. On Monday, I will convene my national security team and other key members of my Cabinet at Camp David to discuss the way ahead in Iraq. On Tuesday, Iraq's new Ambassador to the United States will join us, and we will have a teleconference discussion with Prime Minister Maliki and members of his cabinet. Together we will determine how to best deploy America's resources in Iraq and achieve our shared goal of an Iraq that can govern itself, sustain itself, and defend itself.
There's still difficult work ahead in Iraq. Yet this week, the ideology of terror has suffered a severe blow. Al Qaida has lost its leader in Iraq, the Iraqi people have completed a democratic government that is determined to defend them, and freedom has achieved a great victory in the heart of the Middle East.
Thank you for listening.
Posted by Walt as Iraq, Middle East Issues at 12:41 AM EDT
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This article by Robert Spencer was written last year and it still hold the truths it presents on Islamophopia.
by Robert Spencer
In an article yesterday, the journalist and Islamic apologist Stephen Schwartz defined "Islamophobia" this way:
Notwithstanding the arguments of some Westerners, Islamophobia exists; it is not a myth. Islamophobia consists of:
• attacking the entire religion of Islam as a problem for the world;
• condemning all of Islam and its history as extremist;
• denying the active existence, in the contemporary world, of a moderate Muslim majority;
• insisting that Muslims accede to the demands of non-Muslims (based on ignorance and arrogance) for various theological changes, in their religion;
• treating all conflicts involving Muslims (including, for example, that in Bosnia-Hercegovina a decade ago), as the fault of Muslims themselves;
• inciting war against Islam as a whole.
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Posted by Walt as Islam at 11:16 PM EDT
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